Untitled missives 2

II

It seems I've waited for
Far too long that I have
Forgotten what or who
I had been waiting for;
I have distanced myself
From people that now
I can't figure out how
To behave in this circle;
Seems I have unlearned
All the nuances that made
Me so attractive before--
All I have now, aside from
This quick wit, are my
Sharp tongue and insecure
Heart beating furiously
Inside my hollow chest
(not very charming).

Waiting seemed the best
Option then; wish I can say
The same thing now, what
With you hovering like
A fat clump of storm-cloud
In my used-to-be-barren sky;
No one has brought me
This much apprehension,
Euphoria and paranoia
In so long a time--my mind
Runs off like a fugitive
Every time I am beheld by
Your gaze, and I have no
Choice but to yield to this
Force, so like gravity.

My feelings swirl until
They're undecipherable,
Like hieroglyphs or some
Other form of communication
Alien to my comprehension;
It seems that I have almost
Forgotten what or who I
Had been waiting for--
When I finally remember,
I hope that it isn't too late.


Manila 1998; edited Phnom Penh 2009